Sheesh, now my block's isn't the orange block i loved anymore. Now it has turned lime green. So now it looks ugly. What has happened to the place that i used to know? Oh wait, what do i mean by 'used to'?! I'm still here, in the same old block i've been living for six years. Construction noises are killing me. I don't know whether they have stopped or not.

Anyway, had dry run and practice today. Tomorrow's the final final prac rehearsal before the real competition on saturday (which is of course, sabrina's 14th birthday. she's older than me. wooh. i like the feeling to know that someone ages faster than you.) Out of point. Anyway, i have to learn to make myself angry. Why oh why, do i always get angry at the wrong time? Then i'll be a sad sad person later on.

I don't know what wrong with me these days. It's like i don't know myself anymore. I don't feel anything anymore. All my feelings are just, gone. Like that. Gone with the wind. Nonetheless, i miss the kampong. Bring me back there. Please take me there again.

I miss the gerabak, the dinner with the four of us and Jaslyn being scared of the cat. I miss sitting beside Liyana on the bus and her taking photos with me. I miss listening to my mp4 on the way to somewhere far so i can sleep. I miss arguing over our sleeping positions and the lights. I miss having to be waken up by Charmaine in the morning cause i need to wake up first. I miss having to translate Malay to them. I miss taking pictures of everything i thought was interesting. I miss my host family. I miss having to play along with the two small kiddos in the house. I miss the baby whom we didn't know whether she's laughing or not. I miss Zila whom we played that game with. I miss all the time we had during LJ. I miss laughing at _______'s boyfriend cause he was so extra. I miss everyone else. I miss everything. Now that we're back to being normal, i can't be myself anymore.

I'm losing myself to someone i myself do not know. I think i'm somehow like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, only that i'm not evil as Hyde is. I'm not sure how i was before everything changed anymore. I was already feeling confused, and now, i don't remember how to change back to being me.

Life's strange, isn't it? One time, you'll like someone, the next moment you don't. When you like someone, you'll do things which aren't normal to you. You'll go out of your mind and tend to not care to anyone else around you. But that's only infactuation. Insane infactuation. Insanely infactuation. Gosh, i don't know what i'm writing typing anymore. Why do i sound so serious? I'm not a serious person. I laugh a lot. People say my laughter is contagious. Sheesh, i can't spell that word.

In any case, i was watching Sleeping Beauty while eating dinner just now. And i thought to myself, 'What's Sleeping Beauty's name? I thought she got right?' Then a thousand miles later, i remembered. It was Princess Aurora. How could i ever forget that?

Then i was thinking. Again. 'Does Sleeping Beauty have memorable songs? I know Snow White got. You know, like Hi-ho and that high-pitched voice of Snow White song, Someday my prince will come. Sleeping Beauty don't have right?'
And then there was a scene in the movie, and she was singing the 'I know you, i walk with you once upon a dream' song. That was the only song i knew from Sleeping Beauty. Haha. I love that song.

I was thinking when i saw Magnificent, why does it seems that a lot of villians are purple colour? Like Magnificent, Ursula and Ivan Ooze. Hahahah. There must be something.

I was thinking (why do i think so much?) about how i don't believe in what true love first kiss or whatever crap. I mean, look. How can you know someone is your true love when you've never met him? Would anyone kiss you just to wake you up?

I was arguing about Snow White, duh. Snow White and the useless Prince Charming never met each other right? He was just wandering around that he saw the coffin and blahblahblah. In contrast, at least Aurora and Phillip met before. They met before in her dreams, and during the forest part. They met before. But in comparison, Cinderella and Prince Charming doesn't have any romance at all. Maybe, when they danced, but not. Not nice. I'm a fussy person, you know. I find Aurora and Phillip so cute together. Haha. Anyway, in some versions or whatsoever, Phillip was the son of the king's friend who was also a king. So it's like they're somehow matchmade. Why am i being so realistic? As if.

I can't believe myself when i said i miss guides. Yeah, i miss guides and i don't know why. I miss my fellow purple colour t-shirt guides.

I'd better sleep now if not later, tomorrow i cannot wake up. Then die. According to Nisa.

Au Revoir.
Whatever you say
Whatever you do
There will be good times waiting for you
Whatever you hear
I won't disappear
I promise you that
I promise you that

Labels: 40 kinds of sadness, learning journey, random, school, television, things to ponder.