I seriously don't know what to do anymore. I've tried my best to stop all this, but you're not doing your part. I tried to hint at you by changing my display picture, display name and personal message but you don't seem to notice it. Are you just ignoring it, i never know. I'm trying to hold on, but i don't think i can anymore. I tried to be strong, but i can't. I just kept crying, thinking of you. I can't stop tears from dropping. I don't know why, but i'm starting to cry again. For god knows how many times already. Everyone is trying to help me, but you're the only person who aren't. Why are you doing this to me? I can't mention you anymore. It just hurts. It hurts me than you do. You seemed to be so close, yet so far. How am i supposed to fix things up when you don't seem to try. Why are you doubting me when i told you i don't think that way? I've been apologising so many times, yet i don't know why it's still this way. I'm trying my best right here not to start crying, but it's useless. You made me cry unknowingly, and i'm sorry for that. I don't know what to say to you anymore. Even if i say something, you wouldn't respond. How am i supposed to know what you're feeling if you don't express it? Gerry said everything would be alright, but i wonder how it will be okay when you're not trying. I admit i kind of trying to avoid you too, cause you're avoiding me and i don't want to cry cause of that anymore. But as i think about it, i never wanted this to happen. I don't want to avoid you, but you're doing this to me. Everything's now reminding myself of you. I'm crying again, i'm sorry. I wonder if we'll still be the same again. Everyone says so, but i myself don't know. I'm doubting you instead. I'm sorry, i didn't mean for this to happen. I don't know what was i thinking at that time, but it just happened just like that. You should know that i didn't mean it for happen right? But you don't. Now i just cry everytime i talk about you. I can't stop it, and you're the only one who could. But you said you didn't know how to. I still don't know where we're going, cause you always seem to leave halfway. I'm still trying to fix it up, and i won't give up. Even if we're not back by thursday, i'm still trying.

Labels: 40 kinds of sadness, drive myself crazy, drowning, friends, stupidity of mine